Proposal email before/after

proposal email before and after
This is an example of an email rewrite done in the Kopywriting Kourse's private member's forum. Context: The lead was already interested and asked for a quote for the project. Goal: Close the deal and land the project! Issues in the BEFORE version:
  • Rambling introduction.
  • Additional offers that don't add value.
  • Complicated pricing structure.
  AFTER version:
  • Direct language. The client already knows the value of the project and has asked for a quote, so this email gets straight to the quotes!
  • The offer is 100% focused on the project at hand.
  • 3-tiered pricing in the form of 3 clear packages.