HVAC Facebook Ad before/after

This is an example of a Facebook ad rewrite done in the Kopywriting Kourse's private members' area. Target audience: HVAC engineers Goal: Get the HVAC engineers to hire this agency to run their ads.   Issues in the BEFORE version:

• Too wordy;
• Walls of text don't do well on FB ads;
• It's just not that compelling.

  AFTER version:

• Direct + clear;
• Bullet points > wall of text;
• Lays out specific benefits + competitive advantages.