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Avoid cold emails with really bad introductions

Copywriting
Before & After
Emails
Images
Advice
·
Source
Updated on Nov 7, 2025
cold-emails-better

Most cold emails bomb because they scream “sales pitch” from the first line. The image above nails the difference: one email feels spammy and desperate, the other feels natural and valuable.

What’s happening here

The “Great” email works because it opens with relevance (“saw your profile on LinkedIn”) and a clear offer of value (“help Shopify stores double their sales”). It reads like a friend reaching out, not a salesperson attacking.

Why it works

  • Starts with context, not a pitch
  • Establishes quick credibility
  • Offers a benefit, not a buy-now link
  • Uses conversational language
  • Ends with a soft, easy CTA

Real-world examples

  • Lavender increased reply rates by 3x by personalizing intros
  • HubSpot’s outreach emails use mutual connections for instant trust
  • Gong’s sales team tested soft CTAs and saw a 26% lift in call replies
  • Copy.ai cut their first lines by 50% and doubled response rates
Source (copywritingcourse.com)

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