Stop Excuses: Replace Your Marketing Intern
If your marketing looks like the kid in this image, it is time for a breakup. You are not running a daycare, you are running a business. Every “sorry I slept in” text is a day your competitors gladly steal your leads. This post is your permission slip to stop accepting excuses and start demanding results.
The Screenshot Test
Look at the blue bubbles in the image: “sorry I slept in,” “that was due today?,” “when’s pay day again,” “is our VP single????” Now imagine those texts as a screenshot in your investor update. If you would be embarrassed to paste your marketer’s Slack messages into a board deck, you already know the answer: replace them.
What To Replace The Intern With
- A marketer who shows up with metrics, not memes
- Simple campaigns you can track daily (email, ads, landing pages)
- Clear weekly reports: traffic, leads, revenue, next experiments
- Written SOPs so marketing does not vanish when someone quits
Real-World Upgrade Moves
SaaSCo replaced an unreliable intern with a part-time performance marketer and finally discovered which ad set was printing 80% of their free trials.
DTCBrand fired their social-only intern and hired a copywriter who turned one email welcome series into 18 percent more monthly revenue.
