Proposal email before/after

This is an example of an email rewrite done in the Kopywriting Kourse’s private member’s forum.

Context: The lead was already interested and asked for a quote for the project.

Goal: Close the deal and land the project!

Issues in the BEFORE version:

  • Rambling introduction.
  • Additional offers that don’t add value.
  • Complicated pricing structure.


AFTER version:

  • Direct language. The client already knows the value of the project and has asked for a quote, so this email gets straight to the quotes!
  • The offer is 100% focused on the project at hand.
  • 3-tiered pricing in the form of 3 clear packages.
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